Back Home

Hello!

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and the encouraging words that you sent us!  We arrived back home around 6pm yesterday (Wednesday) evening and were so glad to be back.  Greg was dealing with some pain at the site of the catheter (they inserted it in his neck this time) especially when moving around and was exhausted so we took it easy and went to bed early last night.

Greg ended up receiving seven bags of IV potassium supplements during his stay which increased the level of potassium in his blood work to a much safer level.  They removed the PICC line (an IV that travels from the upper arm to the superior vena cava so that potent medications are distributed in the blood quickly) through which they were administering the potassium which is great because there was a chance he'd come home with it in and have restricted activity. 

The heart catheterization was very informative.  It showed that Greg's pressures are ok and that they have not gotten significantly worse since April (his last heart cath.).  Greg's heart output was low, but the doctors think it is due to one of the booster diuretics he is taking.  The booster is also probably the cause of such significant potassium loss.  With this new information the doctors made changes to Greg's diuretics that will hopefully increase cardiac output and maintain safe potassium levels.  We go to the hospital on Friday morning for a blood test to make sure Greg's potassium level is staying high.

While in the hospital we were given the results of the specialized echocardiogram that was done at Johns Hopkins last month.  According to the echo, Greg has right ventricular dysplasia that is consistent with what doctors see in people with ARVD (arrhythmogenic right ventricular dysplasia).  This doesn't change much about the course of treatment for Greg but its one more piece in the puzzle of determining whether or not Greg does in fact have ARVD.  We may be going up to Johns Hopkins again to have a cardiac MRI performed on Greg.  In the past this has been impossible because of Greg's defibrillator/pacemaker but Hopkins has found a way to safely perform MRI's on patients with cardiac implants.  Not only would this help in the diagnoses of ARVD but it would also help determine how much Greg's heart failure is progressing.

Overall, the doctors feel that Greg is fairly stable right now.  His heart failure has slowly gotten worse since it was discovered, but the treatment regimen he is on seems to be preventing is from accelerating dangerously.  They will continue to watch him very closely to make sure they know exactly how fast its progressing and do everything they can to slow it down.  We're really thankful that the doctors found and treated Greg's low potassium before he developed any serious ventricular arrhythmias.

Last night we were both struck by how we had gone into "emergency mode" and just got through everything that happened without really processing it.  We are definitely learning to take these types of hospital stays in stride- since they are part of waiting for a transplant, and we'll probably have many more of them- which is helpful and shows a lot of God's grace in our lives.  But as we were reflecting on it last night we were feeling the strain of living a life where you can be called into the hospital at a moments notice for a couple of pretty uncomfortable procedures.  And we were really fortunate because if Greg had been doing worse than he was, he would have had to stay indefinitely.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that the hospital stay went as well as we could have hoped, but it still took a toll on us emotionally.  Which is part of the reason we are so thankful for your prayers!  We continue to struggle in dealing with waiting for a transplant in so many ways and having your prayers, support, encouragement, etc. is an incredible blessing that really does carry us through.  Thank you for caring and for being there for us.  We appreciate you.

Love,
Greg and Elise

Greg is in the hospital

Hello!

Yesterday was a pretty crazy day for Greg.  We arrived at the hospital around 9am for his bi-weekly heart transplant clinic appointment.  Every time Greg goes they draw blood to check a lot of numbers (such as electrolytes, liver function, etc.) so see how he's really doing (just looking at him or examining him from the outside doesn't give very clear information).  Greg also needed to have two samples of blood taken for various medical trials that he's agreed to participate in- they will hopefully help future heart failure patients to experience less organ-rejection and to diagnose ARVD easier.  Because of hospital protocols, it took a few extra hours to get all the blood drawn and we finished barely in time to grab something to eat at the heart healthy cafe upstairs before going to the transplant support group.

The support group was very informative but overwhelming.  The topic was medications and doctors visits post-transplant, and included a lot of information on living with immuno-suppression.  We have lots to remember and process from that time.
As we got home and were unlocking the door to our apartment, we received a phone call from the heart clinic.  They had the numbers back from Greg's blood test and his potassium level was dangerously low.  Because low potassium can contribute to dangerous arrhythmia's (and Greg's ventricular tachycardia has been more frequent lately) they wanted to admit him to the hospital overnight so that he could have IV potassium.  The doctors also decided it was best to have a heart catheterization performed on Wednesday (today).  Greg was due to have one some time this month, and they decided that while he was in the hospital they should go ahead with it.  The heart cath. is the best way to measure his heart function (how much blood is going out and in, how much pressure is building up in his lungs, etc.) and to determine how his heart failure has progressed since April (which is when he had his last heart cath.).

Its now Wednesday morning and Greg has had 4 IV bags of Potassium so far and will receive 2 more this morning.  Greg won't be allowed to go home until the potassium level in his blood is safe, and we're really hoping that these 6 doses will be enough.  The heart catheterization is scheduled for noon. 

Please pray for Greg.  Because he's had the procedure so many times, he has become less sensitive to some of the anesthesia they use during the cath. and is therefore fully awake during the procedure.  While it isn't very painful, it is scary and extremely uncomfortable for him.  Please pray that they'll be able to play the Christian music station for him (he says that's always calming when they can find it on the radio- he just focuses on the songs during the procedure and it helps him relax) and that the surgeon would do a good, quick, and safe job.  Please also pray for Greg to get some good rest while we're here.  He feels stir-crazy and really wishes that we were home where he could do his laps, swim in the pool to cool off, etc. but if he can sleep he might be able to catch up on some much needed rest!

Another thing that happened over the past few days is that we were rear-ended while driving on I-70E (a major road that connects to the DC beltway).  Our car has a bunch of scrapes on the bumper but no other visible problems.  However this happened before (our first week after moving to Northern Virginia!) and there was substantial damage that wasn't visible from the outside.  I haven't had a chance to call insurance yet but we did get a police report on the accident so we know that we'll be covered in case things are worse than they look.  Please pray that I (Elise) would be able to balance the things I need to do and prioritize them well.  Its easy to run myself into the ground when Greg's in the hospital and I'm trying to figure out a way to balance being with and taking care of him, checking on our cat, etc.  Also please pray for "Christy" (not her real name) who rear ended us.  She's going through a difficult time right now and is a single mother who is having a hard time making ends meet.  Our hearts really broke for her and I've been thinking and praying for her a lot since the accident.

Thanks for your continued prayers on our behalf.  We'll let you know what we find out from the heart catheterization as soon as we're able.

With love and gratitude,
Greg and Elise

Appointment at Johns Hopkins

Hello everyone!

We wanted to update you on Greg's condition and tell you about the appointment that Greg had at Johns Hopkins.  Sometimes its difficult to communicate the changes in Greg's condition or the steps that the doctors are taking because, just like with most other diseases, the transplant "world" seems to have its own language and way of doing things.  Therefore, this post is going to be our best attempt at catching you up on Greg's health!

Yesterday we went to Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, MD for an appointment with Dr. Russell who is in charge of the transplant program.  The main purpose of this appointment was to get a second opinion and to have Dr. Russell help Greg's doctors decide on the next steps to take while awaiting the transplant.  This was our second time traveling to Johns Hopkins- we first went there in April to meet with Dr. Calkins who is the doctor who is in charge of the Arrhythmogenic Right Ventricular Dysplasia (ARVD) program.  As we mentioned in an earlier post, Greg's doctors at the INOVA hospital (our home hospital) had come to the conclusion that ARVD was the most likely cause for Greg's heart issues.  During our first appointment at Hopkins, we met with a genetic counselor and they took a sample of Greg's blood so they could perform genetic testing.

We've been anxiously awaiting the test results for the past few months and finally got them yesterday.  Greg's blood came back negative for ARVD.  However, this doesn't mean that Greg does not have ARVD.  Currently, geneticists have only isolated 5 genes that are linked to ARVD.  While Greg does not have a mutation of any of these 5 genes, there could be other genes with mutations that code for ARVD that have not been discovered yet.  In fact, the doctors have found that 50% of the patients who test negative for ARVD actually do have ARVD.  At the same time, everyone who tests positive for ARVD does in fact have the disease.  Getting a negative on the test doesn't give the doctors any new information to work with but getting a positive would.  If Greg had tested positive, his immediate family would also undergo genetic testing to determine if they had the same genetic mutations as Greg- but because he tested negative they will not be tested.  Greg will be giving a blood sample that will be used in research for the purpose of discovering more genes that are associated with ARVD. 

While the genetic counselor was not able to give us helpful information, Dr. Russell certainly was.  He is an expert at heart transplants and works closely with Dr. Calkins.  Johns Hopkins is world-renowned for their clinical and educational excellence, and the transplant program is no exception.  Because of the caliber of Johns Hopkins and Dr. Russell, we were extremely interested to hear his opinion on Greg's heart.   After examining Greg and going through the details of Greg's medical history, Dr. Russell confirmed that every decision the doctors at INOVA have made thus far regarding Greg's heart have been correct.  According to Dr. Russell, Greg's has all the symptoms that are typical of a patient with severe heart failure and Dr. Russell affirmed the excellence of the doctors at INOVA, the transplant program, the post-transplant care that INOVA provides.  We felt tremendously relieved after meeting with Dr. Russell.  Knowing that he, an expert in the transplant field, is in agreement with Greg's doctors and hearing him recommend that Greg continue to be treated at INOVA instead of switching to Hopkins was very comforting.  We are very grateful that we were able to meet with him!!

Moving forward, Dr. Russell suggested that Greg's doctors adjust his "dry weight" so that Greg is more comfortable.  This would require them to increase his diuretics.  They would continue to increase the diuretics until Greg's kidneys show signs of distress (one of the biggest risks of treating transplant patients is their other organs failing while waiting for the transplant).  If this doesn't cause drastic drops in Greg's blood pressure or damage to Greg's kidneys, they may be able to keep Greg more comfortable while waiting for his heart.  The doctors have been keeping some extra water on Greg to protect his kidneys and help his heart pump more effectively- but the trade off is that Greg's symptoms (abdominal pain and swelling, fatigue, decreased exercise tolerance, and increased shortness of breath) have increased.  At the same time, we know that Greg is fortunate to be doing as well as he is.  So many people are confined to the hospital while they await transplant and we have been so blessed that Greg has been stable enough to be home and return to work during this time. 

While at Hopkins a specialized echocardiogram was done on Greg's right ventricle.  This is part of the ARVD diagnosis process and will help the doctors determine if Greg's heart function is decreasing at an accelerating pace.  If so, it will put more emphasis on getting a heart quickly instead of waiting for the perfect heart.  We are hopeful that the input from Dr. Russell as well as the echocardiogram results will help Greg's doctors make the best decisions regarding his care, and we are so grateful for the chance to meet with Dr. Russell.  Not only was it obvious that he is an excellent physician, but he was extremely kind to and supportive of us.  What a blessing!

We both continue to meet with our counselors weekly and have really benefited from the chance to work through the issues that we are facing with someone who knows how to help people through traumatic situations.  While Greg and I are walking down the same road together, we carry different burdens and are facing different trials, and because of this we are very blessed to have individual counseling sessions.  Each day is still a struggle in many ways, but the Lord continues to be faithful and gives us enough grace to get us through each day (even when we think that we won't!).

Thank you for your continued prayers and support along this journey.  We love you and are incredibly grateful for your presence in our lives!

Love,
Elise

Fundraiser Thank you!

Hello!

We've been meaning to sit down and thank each of you who took part in the fundraiser for everything you did and are doing to help us- but we never seem to find the right words.  And how could we?  What you've done for us is beyond anything that we can even comprehend, and there are no words to adequately express our gratitude.  We were shocked, humbled, overjoyed, and brought to tears when we heard how much you had raised for us - currently the total is at an unbelievable $31,400!!  We never imagined that we would be the recipients of so much generosity- it is truly mind boggling.

So many of you spent hours making baskets, putting together auction items, cooking and serving food, counting money, making sure that the technology was working, etc., and we are so thankful for the sacrifices you made to help the fundraiser be a success.  Through you, we have seen Jesus at work - you have literally been his hands and feet.  Through you we have experienced God's love.  And because of you we have a fresh and expanded understanding of God's grace - that he has and does give us more than we could ever deserve, that his love for us is unending, that he is with us every step of the way, and that his grace doesn't demand that we perform in order to receive blessing.

As you can see, the fundraiser was not just a monetary blessing for us (though it definitely was that!) but it was also a spiritual blessing for us.  You have encouraged us to press forward, to keep going in the midst of this trial, and to remember that God is for us, with us, and knows all of our needs.

Your generosity has lifted a tremendous burden from our shoulders.  It is such a relief to know that our needs are provided for ahead of time!

Below  is an article that was published on the Pittsburgh Christian Living Examiner by a woman who attended the fundraiser.  We are grateful for her support of us and this chance to publicly thank so many of you.  We are truly blessed.  These words feel so insufficient- but please know how much you mean to us.

Love,
Greg and Elise

Follow up report on the Greg Boros fundraiser sponsored by his brother Nathan Boros' senior project

April 16, 10:17 AMPittsburgh Christian Living ExaminerCarol Hamilton

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Nathan Boros by the display he made about his brother, Greg Boros

Photo by Tim Boros, Nate's twin brother

Nathan Boros is indeed his brother's keeper. For his Seneca Valley High School senior project, Nate chose to help his elder brother, Greg Boros. Greg, who turned twenty-five on April 12th, needs a heart transplant.

Nate organized a spaghetti dinner and silent auction on April 11, 2010 at the Harmony-Zelienople Methodist Church. Over 540 people attended the event. Nate is thrilled to report today that thirty thousand dollars have been raised so far.

Nate wrote, "The community support and love has been made so tangible in how they have given to me and my family. The emotional and spiritual boost that comes from an event like last Sunday may prove to be more valuable than the actual money itself. God has been so so good to my family and I and it has been through the people of this community that are being His hands and feet."

At the dinner, volunteers bustled, serving salad, home made bread and rolls, beverages, spaghetti with meatballs, and dessert to the guests. The church hall overflowed with people and a line stretched up the steps from 4:30 to well after seven as people waited to be seated.

Sadly, Greg and Elise couldn't be physically feel the hugs and love that flowed from the guests. Greg had to have a right heart catheterization on April 8th. The catheterization showed that there isn't excess fluid accumulation around Greg's heart and the function has not decreased since his last catheterization on March 4th. However, Greg's doctors insisted he stay in the Virginia area and not travel to Pennsylvania for the weekend.

He and Elise did join in the fun via web cam. A large screen at the front of the room allowed the guests to see and hear Greg as he shared some of the lessons he's learned along the way, especially by reading about the trials the apostle Paul faced in his ministry. Greg thanked the crowd of well-wishers, telling them they were his anchor.

At least he and Elise could get a glimpse of the people in the jam-packed room from a web cam that scanned the many faces. Hopefully the couple in Virginia could see the expressions of love and care as it generated to them.

The web cam crew also showed Greg and Elise the tables full of gift baskets and prizes for the silent auction and people got a chance to chat personally via computer.

If you would like to make a tax-deductible donation to help with Greg's medical bills, please send a check payable to "HZUMC MISSIONS" with Greg Boros in the memo line to: Harmony-Zelienople Methodist Church, 285 Evans Road, Zelienople, Pa 16063. The church will administrator these funds to Greg and Elise.

In closing, Nate writes, "If you have caught a glimpse of Greg and Elise's heart for sharing their faith please consider becoming a part of their ministry support team as they serve at George Mason University through Campus Crusade for Christ (CRU). I encourage you to research CRU and what it is that Greg and Elise do everyday in helping young people come to know Jesus. To become monthly supporters of Greg and Elise, please see their profile through CRU's website. You can learn more about the mission of CRU at www.ccri.org. Greg an be contacted directly with questions at greg.boros@uscm.org."

Greg's blog details his medical journey:
http://gregboros.blogspot.com

For information about the dinner and the silent auction:
http://gregborosbenefit.weebly.com

Home from the hospital!

Hello!

Thank you so much for keeping us in your prayers over the last few days!  The Lord really took care of us and we have good news, however it was a frustrating and drawn-out time for us.  We arrived at home around 3:30 this afternoon, exhausted and glad to be out of the hospital!

The doctors did decide to perform a right heart catheterization on Greg, which took place yesterday around 2pm (after a 3 hour wait in the prep area!).  The catheterization went well, and it showed that Greg's heart function has not decreased since his last catheterization on March 4th.  It also showed that there isn't excess fluid accumulation around the heart.  This was unexpected considering the 10lbs Greg had gained in 1 week.  Looking for fluid, the doctors decided to also perform an ultrasound of his abdomen (to look for fluid) and legs, to look for blood clots.  Both of the ultrasounds came back negative- which is wonderful, but perplexing.  The doctor's only explanation for why Greg would have gained the weight so quickly is that they had made him too dry with diuretics since coming home from the hospital, and for whatever reason, his body decided to retain more water to get back to a good balance over the last two weeks.  Since nothing has changed about Greg's diet or fluid-intake, this is strange- it can't possibly be fat tissue or lean muscle weight, but they can't find excess fluid on him (at least with the tests they performed yesterday).  It also doesn't explain the increase in his symptoms, but since the numbers they look for are OK the doctors aren't changing his treatment for now.  We are to call them first thing on Monday with his weight, and we'll be going in Wednesday for our usual clinic appointment, if they don't decide to see him beforehand.  Since Greg's condition hasn't deteriorated, he'll stay a 1B on the transplant list, which is a blessing because it gives them more time to wait for the "perfect" heart instead of rushing to get any heart that will match.

Overnight, Greg did have a long stretch of ventricular tachycardia (the dangerous rhythm of his ventricles that can cause cardiac arrests).  It didn't progress to him needing to be shocked by his ICD, but the doctors were concerned about it.  This morning they reprogrammed his device so that it will record more v-tach events than it has been (his ICD didn't record this one because his heart rate didn't get high enough, but the heart monitor he was wearing notified the nurses).  This will enable them to get a better sense of the amount of vtach Greg's having, and if its increasing the way that his atrial arrhythmias are increasing.

All in all, we feel relieved to know that Greg isn't in serious danger from the increased weight.  We are frustrated by the lack of information that was gained, but as they keep telling us, that's just a part of the transplant process.  Every patient is different, and Greg's right heart failure is rare and therefore much harder to anticipate, plan for, or treat.  The medical staff keeps reminding us that we can trust the doctors- and we do- but even more so we trust that these past few days were part of God's sovereign plan for getting Greg the perfect heart at the perfect time... or for whatever it is that the Lord has planned for us along this journey.  As excellent as our doctors are (truly, they are fantastic), its nice to know the God of the universe is the one who is ultimately in control and that He knows precisely what's going on with Greg's heart, because He planned it.

Please pray that we will continue to trust the Lord, that He would give us the grace we need to get through each day, and that He would guide the doctors every step along the way.  We are so grateful that you are with us in prayer.

Love,
Elise

In the hospital

Hello everyone,

Yesterday afternoon, Greg was admitted to the hospital by his heart-transplant doctors.  Over the past two weeks Greg had been gaining water-weight very quickly, despite his doctors doubling his doses of diuretics.  Along with the water-weight has come increased symptoms (fatigue, bloating, loss of appetite, soreness throughout his body, etc.) and he's felt worse and worse as the week has progressed.  We went to the heart transplant clinic for an "emergency appointment" on Monday, after he gained 3 lbs over Saturday night.  At that time, the doctors said they couldn't do anything yet and to wait and see if he continued to put on more water weight as the week progressed.  He did, and by yesterday morning they deemed it necessary for him to be admitted to the hospital. 

He was seen by Dr. Desai (the head of the transplant program) who decided to give him a dose of IV diuretics last night and one this morning to see if the stronger dose would help.  If by this morning Greg lost all the excess fluid and all his symptoms disappeared, it would be a sign that he wasn't responding to the diuretics at home and they would give him an additional "booster" drug to help keep the water off, and send him home.  If the IV diuretics didn't work- they would do another right heart catheterization today to see what's actually going on in his heart.

We haven't seen the doctors yet this morning, but so far Greg has gained another ounce of weight, instead of losing the amount necessary.  We're still waiting to see if the second IV diuretic has been effective, but it seems unlikely at this point.  Most likely, Greg will be getting a right heart catheterization and remaining in the hospital for another night as they try to determine what's causing the increased water-retention.

The doctors tell us that this is a normal part of waiting for a heart- any time there's a drastic change in how a patient is doing, they are admitted to the hospital so that the doctors can do everything possible to keep them as comfortable and strong as they can be while waiting for their new heart.  We'll probably be back here again many times before Greg receives his heart- and its a blessing that we live so close to the hospital!

While in some ways it feels like a relief for me to be here (it takes the pressure off of me trying to determine when to call the doctor, and watching him to make sure his symptoms aren't changing, etc.), Greg is very anxious to go home. 

Please pray for wisdom and insight for the doctors as they try to figure out what's happening in Greg's body, and for peace and patience for us as we "hit" this new bump in the road.  Our prayer is that Greg will just need a different medication and that his heart failure isn't getting worse.  Yet, we know that God is in control of every detail in Greg's body and in the process of waiting for and getting a heart, and that above all we need to pray for His will to be done (even when that's hard to do).

We'll keep you updated as we get more information.

Thank you for walking this road with us,
Elise

Post from Greg - Matthew 11:1-6

Each month Elise and I send a prayer letter/update to a special group of people who have partnered with us financially in the ministry here at Mason, in the effort of seeing the gospel spread to every GMU student. As I was writing this month's letter, I realized that there were portions of it that I really wanted to share here on the blog. Below are those portions - please know how much Elise and I love you and appreciate your tenderness, care, and prayers. There are many times we'd feel lost if it weren't for you and what God does through you...

...The first thing I wanted to share is that Elise and I are OK. I know that there have been some people who have been worried lately, especially by our blog posts. I want you to know that part of the plan for the blog is for us to be completely transparent with anyone who cares to read it – even in dark moments. This is really intentional on our part, because we want people to know that it's OK to be a Christian and for life to be awful – it's possible to lose all your faith in life while keeping all your faith in Jesus. Many of our days, thoughts, and emotions are dark, hopeless, and confusing (and as one person recently pointed out to me, Elise and I aren't suffering perfectly - no one ever has or will since Jesus). But what we want is for people to know that it is OK to not be OK - you can be a Christian and still be adrift in the darkness. It doesn't make you a bad Christian, doesn't mean God loves you any less, doesn't mean that you're a bad or weak person, or that you don't believe deeply enough, or that you need to have more faith. The truth of the matter is that some people are called to suffer in this life (which is one of the many dramatic lessons of Hebrews 11 - some people are called to glorify God with the life they live, while others are called to glorify Him with the death they die).

 

One of the simple truths of being a Christian is that God demands we be perfect, but He doesn't expect us to be perfect, because He knows we're not perfect, which is why He gave and gave up His perfect Son. The apostle Peter backslid into sin by capitulating to Jewish dietary law, and had to be called out on it in front of everyone by Paul (Galatians 2:11). John the Baptist, the greatest mere man to ever live (Jesus declared John "the greatest of those born of women"  in Matthew 11:11) – anyway, that John the Baptist spent his last days rotting in prison, and finally had his head cut off and served to a dancing girl on a silver platter. And before he met his end, he sent a messenger to Jesus, his cousin, whose coming he'd spent years proclaiming, asking "Are you the Messiah, or do we wait for another?"

 

Have you ever thought about the implications of John's question? The simple truth of it is that John's life had degenerated into a horrible mess, that mess didn't fit his picture of what life was supposed to look like, and in a weak moment he doubted the divinity and power of Christ. Because after all, if cousin Jesus is in fact the conquering, reclaiming messiah foretold by the entire Old Testament, then what the heck am I doing in a prison cell??

 

Now here's why I bring it up: Whatever measure Jesus was using for "greatness", he declared John the greatest of our species. And if the greatest mere man to ever live doubted Christ during a storm in life, and if God intentionally had that doubting recorded in His holy book, then I think its safe to say that there's a place in Jesus' kingdom for those who are adrift in darkness and can't find the way out. By the grace of God, neither Elise nor I have ever doubted Jesus for a second. But we have spent much time in the valley of despair – and that's OK. It's OK with God, and it needs to be OK with His children as well. Check out Psalm 23 – nowhere does it promise that God won't lead us into "the valley of the shadow of death" – it does, however, promise us that He will "be with us" in it. Elise and I want you to know He can and will use this season (or new reality) in our lives just like He did our old season when we were experiencing victory. I feel total freedom to share even our dark moments on the blog, simply because I feel totally free in the Gospel to be what I am. We're light-years from being perfect, we need God to be working on us constantly to make us holier and less sinful and more in love with Him – but it's OK to ask God to meet you where you're at. And in the meantime, He's using our defeat for His victory.

 

Here's an example of what I mean: One of the countless emails we've received in the wake of our blog posts was from a young woman in college who has suffered from clinical depression for years and has recently been thinking about killing herself. A friend referred her to one of the blog posts, and God used it to call her into an awareness of His love – she wrote us saying that what God said to her through that post has forever changed her life, she's no longer suicidal, and Christ is now her treasure. If that were the only good that came of the entirety of what God has planned for Elise and I to go through, we would do it in a heartbeat. It's an honor that Jesus would use our stupid little post in such a way, and it's an honor to be connected to that young woman's life...

 

... I'm running out of space to write, but I want to share one more story of victory that came about even in this season of defeat: The other day, Matt Bedker (one of my disciples) came to our apartment to visit. Matt is an original "Monday Thinger" - do you remember that? "The Monday Thing" was the group that Elise and I put together last year to explore matters of faith and spirituality with non-Christians. Anyway, last spring, The Monday Thing played a part in Matt coming to know Jesus, and on spring break last year he actually took the plunge and placed his faith in Christ. I love him so dearly, and it's been wonderful to watch his faith grow by leaps and bounds the past year. When he showed up here last week, he informed me that it was the one-year anniversary of his becoming a Christian.

 

In one year, Elise and I and you and all the rest of the team have gotten to watch Matt go from being in a very dark and very Christ-less place to being a man whose faith is incredibly deep and mature, and only becoming more so. And oh by the way, do you want to know why he was sitting in my living room during spring break, instead of down at Panama City Beach with the rest of the Cru movement? He didn't have the money to go to Florida, because he's currently raising support, because he applied and was accepted to Cru's East Asia Summer Project for this coming summer. One year after becoming a Christian, Matt's giving up spring break so he can spend six weeks sharing the gospel 24/7 in a country where Christianity is so repressed I can't even tell you which one it is. Can you believe that?

 

Matt is yet another story that could only be possible through Jesus. Life can be (and is) torture, but it's also mercy. And awe. And love. And those are realities that are OK experience at the same time.

-Greg